Redemption
by UknownHero
Summary: Current Arc: C.T. Something happens and a Freelancer escapes their fate for a little bit longer. Will these survivors change the outcome? Will they die a hero or live long enough to see themselves become a villain? Or, will they just die without changing anything? Who knows? Or maybe… just maybe… they'll have their Redemption.
1. Connecticut 1: Rebel Leader

So… what am I gonna do now? Oh, okay. UknownHero here and welcome to the first chapter of Redemption: A Story of Freelancers! I need this one out of my head and after listening to Vic's speech at the end of Season 14, I finally had the inspiration to actually start this. Now, which Freelancer that lives goes and have their own arcs, ranging from the Twins to possibly Tex. And let me make this clear, no. The Meta will not be among those who survive. Maine died when Sigma took over and his death is kinda necessary for the canon. Anyway, let's do this.

New Game… Start!

Connecticut 1: Rebel Leader

 _Whats up yoyo's! My name is Vic. Vickidy Vic Vic. Promised I'd call ya._

 _Kinda weird that I'm talking in a written format now is it? Probably imagining my voice in your head. Maybe even my face. Kinda sounding like a higher pitch version of Church. Not the Director, the A.I. Church. Alpha or Epsilon. The Director Church was kind of a dick. Plus, all the Church's are dead, so that's kinda sad, but I'm getting off track here._

 _Anyway, now, you all remember what I said about multiple universes and stories right? How we explored a few of them in Season 14, some about other Red and Blue Teams getting killed at the end or never to be talked about again? Like those Triplets? Or how about that rap battle? Man, that was off the chain!_

 _So, dude and dudettes? Where do we go from there?_

 _I could tell a story about someone joining the Blood Gulch Reds and Blues, maybe even a Freelancer, but that's just cliché and old. It's been told thousands of times already and it's become boring. Or, we could tell a story where our idiots weren't soldiers, just normal people in society leaving a path of stupidity in their wake? Maybe even make 'em watch a TV show or something. I heard this RWBY show is really good._

 _But, I think I have something better. Or worse. Or boring if you may be so inclined._

 _You see, there have been many deaths in the Red vs Blue universe. Innocent people to the not-so-innocent. The smart to the idiotic. The jerk to the… well, actually everyone's kind of a jerk. But then… you get the Freelancers. Those who were manipulated and tricked by the Director to things they thoughts was for the greater good until they tore themselves apart. Of course, Carolina had a major part in it but it was primarily the Director. They were both innocent and guilty at the same time. Many of them died before they could make up for what they've done or even realize what they were doing is wrong._

 _But that's the magic of alternate universes. There are an infinite number of outcomes that can come out of a simple change._

 _So, what if they survived? Maybe one or two, all or none, it doesn't matter. What if they survived just that little bit longer when they should've been shot or blown up or drowned or stabbed in the face and put into an A.I. unit where they die because someone forgot about them only for their friends to free them and making their death a complete and utter waste?_

 _Well, let's go explore a few of these possibilities._

 _So, what do you think what will happen? Will these survivors change the outcome? Will they die a hero or live long enough to see themselves become a villain? Or, will they just die without changing anything? Who knows? They could make things worse for our heroes or make it better, there are so many ways they could fix or completely screw up a situation._

 _Or maybe… just maybe… they'll have a little Redemption._

 _See what I did there? That's the title of the story. Maybe imagine some epic music as the title bursts into the middle of space. Maybe in bright white letters as it glimmers._

 **-Redemption-  
A Story of Freelancers**

 _There we go._

 _So, where do we start? Which Freelancer do we want to survive for our first part of the story? Well… we could always start with the first major Freelancer to die. Not Tex. No, the first major Freelancer to die chronologically in the main universe._

 _I'm talking about Agent Connecticut. Connie but more commonly known as C.T. Or the other way around._

 _A woman killed before she could see the fruits of her efforts. Her identity taken by her lover to keep her alive just that little bit longer. And probably the most depressing death in the entire series apart from… no, I'm right, her death was really depressing._

 _So… let's see what will happen when the Rebel lives just that little bit longer._

 **(Connecticut)**

Well, she had expected this day for a long time, always thought it would go does this way.

It was her and Michael, the leader of the Insurrection, against Carolina and Tex. It was only a few days ago when she left Project Freelancer. She knew she would be hunted down for her armor, but this quickly...

And now, she was fighting for her, life against two of the best in Freelancer.

She knew it was more than likely she was going to die, especially after Tex brushed off an attack that would've killed a normal person, but it wasn't like she was going to die lying down.

She would not let the Director get away with his crimes.

Connecticut snapped out of her thoughts as she disarmed Carolina of her Magnum before being hit the head by her stun baton and getting kicked in the stomach. She quickly recovered and started fighting with her former leader as Tex and Michel battled. She was fending off Carolina as best as she could, but their difference was clear. If she lived, by some miracle, she would wake up with many new bruises.. As the electricity dispersed through her armor, she quickly created a hologram to fake Carolina out before lunging at her. With a silent, action-less agreement, she and Michael switched between Carolina and Tex repeatedly. Connie smiled under her helm, they practiced. She ignored the flash of worry for Michael, hearing every bone-crunching punch he suffered from Tex as she continued dueling Carolina.

C.T. was definitely struggling to keep up and fend off Carolina and Tex, even with Michael's help. She needed to end it now before they would both die.

She tried to do another fake out with Carolina using a hologram, but it failed. It was enough of a distraction for the real one C.T. and the Insurrectionist Leader and charged her. Carolina kicked Michael over to Tex who punched him in the face, knocking him across the floor.

'Michael!' C.T thought as she swung her knife at Carolina, her grip loosening on the blade. Almost in slow motion, she saw the knife slip out of hand.

And that… was the beginning of her redemption.

The knife struck a pipe in the ceiling, causing hot, thick steam to go everywhere. Before C.T. could react, a quick sweep of her legs delivered by Carolina took her to the ground. Michael, standing up after recovering somewhat from Tex's punch, activated the thermal vision he had in his helmet, but the steam was too hot, he shut it off and dived to see if C.T. was okay.

Just in time to take tomahawk to the shoulder.

Thinking she got C.T., Tex remembered there was another tomahawk stuck to a barrel. She quickly grabbed, focused on her target and shoved it into Michael's stomach.

And C.T. was close enough to see everything.

"AH!" C.T. yelled out a pained scream, seeing Michael take the lethal blows for her.

"What the Hell are you doing!?" Carolina shouted out, hearing C.T.'s screams and axe carving flesh. Both she and Tex were completely blind to C.T. clutching on Michael as she desperately dragged him to the escape pod. "What did you do!?"

"Completing our objective." Tex said coldly.

"By killing a teammate!?" Carolina called out.

"She's not a teammate. She's a traitor." Tex said, just as the steam cleared after having run out. Then, they heard something opening. They turned their heads just in time to see the escape pod doors closing, the left over steam disguising who was dragging who into the escape pod.

Carolina assumed the worst as Tex ranted to her about letting the enemy get away with Freelancer equipment.

C.T. was dead.

Meanwhile, the very much alive C.T. placed Michael into a safe position and started taking out the tomahawks out of his body and took off his helmet. "Michael. Hang on, we can get you help!" C.T. said as she got up to start activating the escape pod.

"Are you… hurt too bad?" Michael groaned out, clutching onto his wounds, coughing. He was bleeding really heavily. C.T. noted the blood flying from his mouth.

He must have a punctured lung, she noted morbidly.

"Please, save your strength." C.T. said frantically, her own breath fogging up her helmet. She was hyperventilating. "Just please hold on." She sobbed. She took off her helmet as well to wipe the tears off her cheek.

"You're so… beautiful… you know that… Connie?" Michael said, wiping C.T.'s cheek. She barely noticed the warm feeling it left behind.

"Please… just rest…" C.T. whispered to him.

'I will… for a while…' Michael thought, smiling at his lover. He coughed, blood splatting her armor. He struggled, raising a hand for her to grasp, before falling limp.

"Please… don't leave…" C.T. begged, gripping his hand like a lifeline, but she knew it was too late.

He was gone forever.

"NO!" C.T. shouted out, sitting up from her cot. She was sweating, and her throat felt tight.

She had that nightmare again.

"Fuck…" C.T. muttered as she looked at her hands. She could still feel Michael's blood there. How long had it been since he died? It still felt like yesterday when he did, and it only felt like hours since she secretly became the leader of what few Innies (well, Charon Industries Private Security Force) were left after that day.

"Hey, leader! We… might have a problem." One of the Insurrection called out from outside. "Some idiots managed to get into the mine fields." C.T. just sighed and put on a now red and black helmet and activated her voice modifier.

" _Ugh… let me take care it."_ C.T. groaned, putting on her armor. It was days like these that made her regret her decision to take her lover's identity and faking her own death. For one thing, she discovered that Michael knew some really serious shit. Like, genocide levels of serious shit. Were they to discover that he was dead, well, it wouldn't end well for her. She added to her mental list to take down Charon Industries after she was finished with the Director. To her surprise it was actually much easier than she expected, to take her lover's place, since her armor hid her figure, voice modifiers were pretty easy to come by and she had learned various leadership skills she never learned back in Freelancer. During the aftermath of her escape, she had become too busy to keep tabs on Project Freelancer or work towards taking down the Director. Hell, the most recent bit of information she had about the Project was the fact that the helmet prototype that allowed Freelancers to eat with their helmet was being added to all Freelancer armor as standard issue.

A day after she "died".

Sighing, she put on the rest of her repainted Freelancer armor and armed herself with a Battle Rifle, a Pistol and her combat knives and walked out into the desert. She and her team had been tasked with obtaining an alien artifact from some desert temple in an area codenamed Sandtrap by any means necessary by Malcolm Hargrove.

She… never really liked him.

But she needed that pay to track down any remaining Freelancers and have them help bring the Director to justice. The datapad containing all the information that proved the Director's guilt actually kinda… broke over the years. She accidentally destroyed it one day and snapped it in two when she threw herself into bed while wearing her armor after a grueling mission.

She slept naked for weeks after that.

Suppressing yet another sigh, she squinted at the sun. "Still in the same damn spot." She sighed to herself before hopping onto a Mongoose and drove her way to the Elephant. All she had to do was get rid of those people in the minefield safely, kill Tucker and retrieve the artifact, kill the aliens, get paid and then run to find all the Freelancers she could.

She really hoped nothing would go wrong today.

(Several hours later)

" _Motherfucker_!"

Literally everything went wrong today.

Not only did those idiots in the mine field know Tucker, they fucking sealed themselves into the temple and now every human and alien on her side were desperately trying to break into the temple with everything they had. Bullets. Grenades. The Elephant. They did everything and yet there wasn't even a chip in the stone.

" _I really hate that teal asshole_." She muttered to herself as she overlooked the demolition process.

"I think he's more of an aqua color, sir." The soldier next to her spoke up.

"[That human with the Great Key is an annoyance to our cause.]" The Elite in blue armor commented. "[Though, I still wonder how he obtained such an artifact.]"

" _Joanes, shut up. We've already talked about this._ " C.T. said. " _And Smith? You can have his sword once we kill him._ "

'Though, I wonder if Hargrove pays extra if I give that to him…' C.T. thought. 'That guy has a fetish for alien artifacts and technology…'

"Um… it's pronounced…" Joanes spoke up but was interrupted by an explosion. C.T. smirked at the sight of the temple entrance exploding into a million pieces.

" _Smith. Joanes. On me. Let's pay our dear friend a little visit._ " C.T. said, an evil smirk on her face underneath her helmet. Both Joanes and Smith nodded as they jumped down from their observation spot and ran into the temple. Suddenly, they heard bullets being fired. C.T. quickly looked around zoning in on where the shots were coming from. " _The shots came from down here!_ "

"Yikes!" She heard from the direction she was pointing at.

'Yep, definitely in there.' She thought.

" _Form up, men!_ " She commanded as everyone made their way to the enemy's location. " _Finally, I have you, fucker…_ " She growled. Who the fuck knew the guy she frequently saw looking at porn and at the female archeologists, before they all died, was just as good as Carolina or Tex all those years ago?

…If Carolina was still around, she would not mention that to her.

" _Freeze! Lower your weapons!_ " She shouted out as she aimed her weapon at Tucker and his allies. " _You…_ " She growled as she walked up to the group." _Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me? I should kill you right here._ "

"Somebody's gettin' killed? I wanna watch." A new, but very familiar voice said as he appeared from a hallway.

" _What… the fuck?"_ C.T. muttered quietly to herself. She couldn't for the life of her remember what was on the datapad, but she did remember one thing.

It was the artifact that Hargrove wanted, and it was floating right in front of her.

Before she faked her death, she racked her brain wondering why the Director had information about this thing, but right now she wanted to get paid and not die because she had no idea what the artifact would do.

" _You idiots activated it…!?_ " She exclaimed.

"Activated what?" The Artifact asked.

" _Secure the relic! Don't let it get away!_ " She commanded. Joanes nodded and quickly pulled out his Plasma Pistol.

"Oh, cool pistol! Green's my favorite color." The Artifact said happily before Joanes fired, swiftly disabling it and falling onto the ground.

" _Yes!_ " C.T. cheered.

"[WHAT!?]" Smith exclaimed. C.T. just ignored him.

"Church!" The blue idiot in armour exclaimed. C.T.'s eyes widened but shook her head. She didn't understand why the blue idiot called it "Church", and that feeling that these idiots were part of the Simulation Trooper Program that she planned to dismantle welled up again, but right now the artifact was her top priority.

" _Great shot, Joanes!_ " C.T. said.

"Thanks! But it's actually pronounced Jo-annis, sir." Joanes replied… before getting slugged in the head by Smith before he continued to beat him to the ground. "What the-!?"

"Smith!? What are you doing!?" C.T. exclaimed in surprise. She was supposed to betray them, not the other way around! Then, the aliens exchanged a glance, before they opened fire on her team, turning against them in an instant.

"What's happening!?" The red idiot exclaimed.

"Dude, the aliens don't like their human buddies beating up on their religious artifacts." Tucker explained. There was an explosion nearby that killed a few of her soldiers. Thinking on her feet, she grabbed the artifact and started making for the exit, dodging Needler rounds and plasma bolts as she ran.

" _Get out of the way!_ " She shouted out, pushing past her soldiers. She needed to get out of here, now. She quickly tossed the artifact into a jeep and climbed in. As she heard the crunching of sand coming her way, she turned on the jeep and started driving. Seeing some of her people jump on Mongooses and drove with her made her feel a little safer.

That is, until a rocker flew past her car, causing her to swerve.

" _Hey! Friendly! Check your fire!_ " C.T. shouted out. " _Don't shoot at me! Shoot them!_ " They quickly got the message and started firing at the idiots, but were missing horribly.

'My God, Stormtroopers can shoot better than these guys…' C.T. thought as she continued to drive as fast as her jeep could. There was a friend-or-foe system added to the mines so if they detect that she was driving over them, she wouldn't blow up unlike everyone else.

At least, she hoped. It… wasn't exactly tested.

" _Shit!_ " C.T. exclaimed as she high velocity slug fired past her car. Who the Hell gave these idiots a fucking cannon on their car!? But looking back, she saw for some reason their car stalled. She didn't give it that much thought as she proceeded to keep driving. She turned on her long-ranged radio and started talking. " _Control, this is Rebel Leader. The package is secure and now awaiting extraction coordinates. I repeat, the package is secure and ready for extraction. Over._ "

"Good job Rebel Leader." Control said. "Uploading extraction coordinates to your helmet. Be at the extraction location by the deadline or we're leaving you. Over."

" _Copy that. Turning off communications._ " C.T. said before clicking off her radio and her voice modifier. She sighed sadly. "…What the Hell am I doing…" She muttered to herself. She realized she changed over the years but… some days she didn't recognize herself. After taking down the Director, she was going to visit a therapist.

But first, she was going to run over the turquoise annoyance that was in her way.

She shifted gears, dodged a shot by that slug-firing jeep and started speeding up as Tucker climbed out of his chopper and pulled out his sword. "Car beats sword, motherfucker." She muttered to herself before flipping on her voice modifier. Finally, after all this time she would finally wipe this man off the face of the planet.

That went down the drain really quickly.

"Now!" Tucker shouted out, jumping over her jeep as he slashed the engine. With the engine ruined and the energy of his sword igniting something in it, C.T.'s car coasted to a stop.

" _Oh fuck…_ " She swore before jumping out of the jeep just as it exploded. Scrambling to her feet and seeing that she somehow made her way back to the temple entrance and started running. Seeing Tucker chasing after her, she quickly created a hologram to get Tucker off her trail while she hid in the shadows. Her holograms weren't exactly in the best condition but it was good enough to trick Tucker. "I'm _ending_ this _right_ now." She told herself, her voice switching from male to her own voice. She banged her helmet to get it back to working order.

'Fuck! Voice modifier must've taken damage in the explosion.' She thought to herself as she equipped her Battle Rifle and went up the ramp. Seeing Tucker alone and standing near the edge, she smirked. She only hoped her voice modifier would hold out. She would not give this man the satisfaction of knowing her identity.

" _Freeze!_ " She shouted out, aiming her rifle at the aquamarine… turquoise… the idiot with the sword.

"Damn it!" Tucker swore as he turned around and saw C.T. aiming at him.

" _Tucker, I should've killed you the second I laid eyes on you. I would've been long gone if you hadn't interfered._ " C.T. growled as she walked towards him. Tucker kept walking backwards towards the edge until he finally ran out of places to run. He was trapped, right where she wanted.

A quick look down told Tucker he had her where he wanted. It was just a matter of who will shoot first.

"Okay dude, I guess you got me." Tucker said, throwing his hands up in surrender. "I've got nowhere to go. Just tell me one thing though, who are you really? And who sent you here?"

" _Sorry sweetheart. You'_ ll never know." C.T. said, her voice modifier shorting out just as she said that.

"Well assh-wait, what the fuck!?" Tucker exclaimed. Realizing that her voice modifier had just given out, she started to pull the trigger on her gun.

"Hey, what's up?" The artifact said as he floated up behind Tucker.

"What in the Hell is that thing!?" She exclaimed in surprise. She thought it was deactivated.

Suddenly, its eye started to glow red as the sounds of something charging up filled the air.

"Oh, son of a-" She swore before closing her eyes, her life flashing before her.

'Michael… I'll see you soon…' C.T. thought, ready to see her lover again.

It didn't happen.

Instead what happened was Tucker, in the most smoothest thing he would ever do in his life, ran in front of C.T., swept her legs and causing her to start falling onto her back only for Tucker to catch her with one hand, have his sword in the other as Church fired. His sword absorbed the energy of the laser, turning it red and Tucker redirected the energy of the laser into the sky harmlessly as C.T.'s helmet slipped off.

Suddenly, Tucker's sword reactivated.

"…Holy shit, how the fuck did I do that?" Tucker muttered to himself before looking at C.T. "So… come here often?" C.T. just growled and tried to punch him, only for him to just drop her. A little dazed, C.T. was about to get up.

Just as a metal boot met her face and knocked her out cold.

"Oh my God!" Caboose called out. "He was a real girl all along!"

"Caboose, shut up. Tucker, what the fuck!?" Grif shouted out as he, Caboose and Sarge went up to Tucker, Church and the knocked out C.T. "Why didn't you let him kill her with his laser face!?"

"You fucking stole my thunder!" Church complained.

"I have no fucking idea." Tucker answered before looking down at C.T. "Still, that was kinda awesome."

"Well… yeah, it was pretty fucking smooth. But, you obviously just saved her because she's a girl." Grif admitted. "So… what should we do with her?"

"I say keep her a Prisoner of War." Sarge suggested. "All of her men are dead and the aliens aren't gonna help. No point in killin' her anyway."

"Probably because she's wearing red too." Grif said sarcastically.

"That too." Sarge said causing Grif to sigh.

"Anyway, how did you do that?" Tucker asked.

"I don't really know. I just got really mad and it just kind of, y'know, happened." Church admitted.

"Can you do that again, like to the yellow guy or something?" Tucker said.

"As long you don't save 'em at the last second." Church mumbled childishly.

"I got a bad feeling about this." Sarge muttered.

"For once Sarge, you and I agree." Grif replied.

"Alright guys, let's leave what we do with this bitch for now and keep our head in the game." Tucker said. "Let's get back into that temple and close it down for good."

"Um guys... I think we might have a problem." Caboose said, looking over the edge. The guys looked at each other before looking as well…

Only to see the aliens jumping up and down, shouting out prayers and other religious junk as they stared at their holy idol: Epsilon A.K.A. Leonard Church.

And as C.T. laid down face first on the scorching hot super rock as the Reds and Blues tried calm the aliens down, something told her in the back of her mind that something was gonna happen.

And it was going to suck.

Save Game… Quit!

Whew! Done! I don't know when I'm gonna update but hey, it's a thing I got out of my head finally.

UknownHero signing off, my friends!


	2. Connecticut 2: Prisoner of Jackasses

Hey, UknownHero here and welcome to another chapter of Redemption! I'm just going through stories that I really need to update before going to the big stuff like A Simple Mission Rebirth and Senran Persona. There isn't much to say other than thanks for the support so far (which I write a lot in these things). Now, I just want to state that every arc will always end at the end of Season 10. Anyway, let's do this!

Load Game… Start!

Connecticut 2: Prisoner of Jackasses

C.T. didn't know how long she had been out for. She had been going in and out of consciousness for what felt like days. Her head throbbed in pain, causing her to groan as she tried to sit up. Her mind was a mess after everything that happened, from the Artifact's activation to Tucker decimating her men. And now that she was awake, she realized she was tied up, her arms trapped behind her back with a bunch of zip-ties, she could taste her own blood, her throat was dry and her armor was nowhere to be seen leaving her in her black bodysuit.

Overall, she felt like total shit.

"At least these idiots have a sense of decency." She muttered to herself before wincing a little. She sounded a bit nasally. "Son of a bitch, fucker broke my nose…" She grumbled to herself before taking a quick look at her surroundings. It looked like she was in one of her men's tents, and from the looks of the shadow outside, was being guarded by one of the aliens. The idiots had placed her in one of their cots, specifically, Joanes' cot. He was more than likely dead… along with everyone else.

In just an hour, every ally she had was either dead or out to kill her.

"Huh, the story of my life," C.T. mumbled before hearing someone entering the tent. She turned her head before glaring at the person who entered.

"Look who's awake," Tucker said as he walked up to her, a duffle bag over his shoulder. C.T. didn't say anything, only glaring at the person who single-handedly fucked everything up for her. "Not saying anything, huh bitch? Well, you better start talking before I shove my sword down your fucking throat! Bow Chicka Bow Wow."

"You're not as threatening as you think, Tucker," C.T. growled.

"And you're not as threatening as you think." Tucker retorted. "Especially without all your weapons and shit on you."

"So… what are you gonna do to me?" C.T. had to ask. She was at a major disadvantage at this point. It would better if she followed whatever he said until she finds a way to escape. "Give me to the aliens? Leave me in the middle of the desert? Take your fucking virginity?"

"Don't know yet actually," Tucker admitted. "All of those sound tempting, but it would probably be best to keep you alive until we need something. Like food."

"I can't cook shit." C.T. pointed out. Though, if she could get her hands on poison…

"Who said anything about cooking?" Tucker replied. C.T. swore he was smirking smugly under his helmet. It took a bit for C.T. to realize what the teal/aqua/whatever-coloured swordsman meant.

"I really should've shot him," C.T. muttered to herself. A siren wail in the distance interrupted any other thought. "What was that?"

"The daily Church Dick Sucking Session." Tucker sighed out before reaching into the duffle bag he had and threw something into C.T.'s lap. "C'mon, get ready." C.T. looked confused, but the object atop her took her attention. It was her helmet.

"Why the fuck are you giving me my armor back?" C.T. questioned.

"So the aliens won't kill you too easily, and to make sure you don't die of heat stroke," Tucker said before throwing the duffle near C.T.'s cot. "Now get your armor on."

"Hey, genius," C.T. said before wiggling her arms. "Can't put it on without arms." Tucker sighed, pulling her out of her cot and started undoing her binds… while stuffing the barrel of his Pistol into her back. C.T. couldn't help but sigh to herself. This was going to be a long day.

(A few minutes later…)

'Never thought in my life I'd put my armor on, eat and drink at gunpoint.' C.T. thought as she walked to the dig site of the temple, which was surely closed for good. The sun was still up, like always, its heat cooking her armor. If it wasn't for its cooling system she would've died so long ago. Though, she noticed something weird.

"Where are my men's bodies?" C.T. asked her captor.

"How the fuck should I know?" Tucker retorted. "Last time I heard about 'em, the Reds were taking care of them. Diseases and all that shit."

"The Reds, huh?" C.T. replied, slightly annoyed. Great, she was taken down by Simulation Troopers. If South was here she wouldn't hear the end of it. She looked up and saw the orange fat guy standing around, doing nothing. "Then what's the fat one doing?"

"Hey, who said you could give out orders?" Tucker reminded her of the gun against her spine. "…Fuck it. I'm bored. Let's see what Grif's doing." C.T. just sighed as they made their way to Grif, who was seemingly staring out at nothing but sand. "Hey, Grif, what's up?"

"Hm?" Grif said as he turned his head to see Tucker and their prisoner walk up to him. "Oh. Hey, Tucker. How's the prisoner?"

"Same old, same old. Still a fucking asshole." Tucker replied.

"I'm right here," C.T. growled, before attempting to suppress her anger. Her captors _wanted_ her to get angry. Give them a reason to shoot her.

"Yep, I can already feel a headache coming on," Grif muttered out.

"Oh, fuck you!" C.T. called out, idly noticing how she failed.

"So, what're you doing?" Tucker asked.

"Well, Sarge told me to bury all the bodies from our battle..." Grif started to explain, only for him to be interrupted.

"That's a lotta graves. Lotta holes to fill. Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Tucker said.

"Real classy." C.T. deadpanned. "Seriously, I can't believe you have a fucking catchphrase."

"Do you want me to call the aliens over? I'm sure they'd love to meet you after you and your men slaughtered their friends." Tucker threatened, causing C.T. to shut up. "That's what I thought, bitch."

"You're a lot more violent than I remember back in Blood Gulch," Grif noted.

"The fucking bitch here killed innocent people and made me live in a fucking temple for days, dude! Not taking any chances with her." Tucker defended himself. "Plus, she destroyed, like, 98 zettabytes of my… home videos."

"You're a fucking sicko by the way," C.T. muttered out. "Triple Fisting? Really?"

"Whatever dude, as long as she isn't kicking my ass I don't care," Grif said before looking back out at the desert. "Anyway, Sarge told me to bury the bodies. And now I can't find 'em, because the bodies were piled up over here, by these stone pillars, and then the wind came and blew sand all over the damn things."

"So I guess they're already buried. Good job dude." Tucker congratulated the orange soldier.

"…I like the way you think." Grif admitted as C.T. just sighed in exasperation. She only continued to sigh as the red guy approached all of them.

"Grif, what the hell are you doing up here!?" Sarge shouted out. "I thought I told you to bury those... bodies." He finished as he realized the bodies were gone. "What?"

"He did, he buried the shit out of them, look," Tucker said.

"Yeah, with the combination of bullshit and a sandsto-AH!" C.T. mumbled to herself before Grif whacked the back of her helmet with his Battle Rifle.

"Sorry, sir, for the interruption. Prisoner was acting up again." Grif quickly lied as C.T. swore under her breath. "Anyway, I did as you said, sir."

"What the- I only gave you that order five minutes ago!" Sarge exclaimed. "How'd you do it so fast? Did either of you help him?" Sarge asked as he looked at Tucker and C.T.

"Help him? Dude, we've been fighting for like eight years, haven't you learned anything about me yet? I'm a lover, not a digger." Tucker pointed out. "Plus, I've been guarding the prisoner the entire time."

"I'm still surprised you volunteered to guard the prisoner, Blue," Sarge said.

"Volunteer? Dude, you guys just threw her at me and ran away when the aliens found out she was still alive!" Tucker complained. "I'm still taking Needler shots out of my ass!"

"Hey, I remember you looking happy after you took off her armor," Grif said. That explained why C.T. felt so violated this entire time. "And maybe he woulda helped me if some of the bodies were dead ladies."

There was a long, awkward silence as Sarge, Tucker, and C.T. stared at Grif.

"...And I realize that sounded a lot creepier than what I intended." Grif admitted.

"…Wow." C.T. got out, still staring at Grif. "Just… wow."

"Well, does someone wanna say a few words?" Sarge offered.

"Words?" C.T. asked in confusion.

"Yes, these men were soldiers. Even if they were enemy soldiers, they still deserve a eulogy." Sarge explained.

"That's… surprisingly honorable." C.T. admitted before wincing. 'More honorable than me…' C.T. mentally added.

"How about you, C.T.?" Sarge said. "They were your men and, as their leader, are expecting to be given a proper send-off into the afterlife."

"Uh… I-I'm not too good with speeches…" C.T. replied as a bit of guilt started to well up in her. Her days in Project Freelancer and her days as part of Insurrection didn't really give her many thoughts about the enemy. To her, they were just obstacles in her way, or people not worth thinking about.

Actually, she hadn't thought about the consequences of taking a life in years.

"Well don't look at me, I'm a lover, not a talker," Tucker said.

"Is that your excuse for everything?" C.T. asked.

"What can I say, I'm a lover, not an imaginator," Tucker replied before looking at Grif. "Hey dude, you wanna make another sex with dead people joke?"

"No, I think I hit my quota," Grif said.

"Well, what about your buddy Mister Cult Leader?" Sarge suggested, just in time to see Church and his alien worshippers following him, hanging onto every single word he said. C.T. continued to swear under her breath at the sight of the Artifact. By now, her evac was gone, meaning, as stated in the protocol, she was considered MIA and no search parties will be sent out to find her. In other words, she was alone.

"It's not his fault, those aliens just worship this ancient technology," Tucker explained. "And the people who made it. Huh huh, what's a brother gonna do?"

"Who in Sam Hell worships technology?" Sarge questioned.

"Millennials," C.T. answered in a flat tone.

"Assholes from the Internet." Grif also threw in his two cents.

"Aren't they both the same thing?" Tucker pointed out as Caboose rounded the corner, following the alien worshippers.

"Yes, this is just very interesting. I understand everything that is being said. Good." Caboose said, though C.T. had a feeling that the guy wasn't even listening. And where the Hell did he get that armor? Even in her Freelancer days, she was already wearing the prototype Mark VI armor, and yet he still had the standard Mark V armor which should've been considered obsolete years ago.

'These people…' she thought.

"Caboose, what're you doing? Get outta there!" Tucker called out.

"It's not fair! Hya- I worshiped Church, _way_ before it was cool to worship him." Caboose complained as he approached the group before seeing C.T. "Oh, hello Mean Lady Number 2."

"Wait, what?" C.T. said in confusion. Okay, the first time she heard the name "Church" she wrote it off as her mishearing something. But now she was sure she heard it right. And what the fuck did he mean 'Mean Lady Number 2'!?

"Oh, Sister isn't here right now so there's no point in saying that." Caboose said.

"Hey, I already told you, that's still not cool. That will _never_ , be cool. _Ever._ " Grif stated.

"He just said 'Church'," C.T. said, deciding to ignore the blue idiot for now.

"Yeah. What's so important about it?" Tucker asked before said floating metal ball approached them.

"Oh hey there guys and shithead. How's life among all the non-deities?" Church taunted. "Pretty lame, I bet! Pretty sure none of you've been worshiped all day long today. _Weak!_ "

"I have a name," C.T. growled out, her eye twitching underneath her helmet.

"Meh, don't care," Church replied as he… shrugged? How a floating ball would do that was a mystery but he managed to pull it off somehow.

"D'ya think you guys might be milkin' this just a bit?" Sarge said.

"Hey, do you want to tell the big group of deadly aliens that they're mistaken and he's not who they think he is?" Tucker asked rhetorically.

"We could always make the prisoner tell them." Grif pointed out.

"Won't the aliens eat her?" Caboose asked.

"No," Tucker answered in a matter-of-fact tone. "They'll just persecute and kill her before she says anything. Too boring. Not worth it."

"Thanks. I feel so appreciated." C.T. deadpanned.

"Hm, I see your point," Sarge said before turning to Church as the aliens approached from behind. "Hey, your circular holiness! How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of you anyway."

"Me? I almost lasered one guy." Church said before looking at C.T. "But I could always…"

"We need her alive, Blue." Sarge reminded him.

"Yeah, but it would be useful to use if I could use it anytime…" Church muttered to himself.

"It would be awesome to see again," Caboose admitted.

"I know, right?" Church said.

"So cool. The laser would come out of your face." Caboose said.

'God, I am not looking forward to if and when they do somehow do it again.' C.T. thought.

"Have you been able to figure out how you did that yet?" Tucker asked.

"No, I think it's just because I got really mad." Church guessed. "Hey, say something to make me angry. See if it happens again."

"You're ugly and nobody likes you," Tucker said automatically.

"You're annoying and your team sucks." Grif joined in.

"You're selfish and no one on your own team really respects you in any emotional capacity or is too stupid to realize how horrible of a person you are. Otherwise, you're just a fucking piece of shit." C.T. added in before cursing under her breath. "Why the fuck did I say that?"

"You're round and you can't wear pants." Caboose finished off.

"You guys came up with all that really quickly." Church said before turning to C.T. "And you've only known me for only a few hours at best."

"You're really easy to insult, you know," Tucker said. "Did it work though? Are you pissed?"

"No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now," Church admitted. "Caboose is right. I can't wear pants."

"Well, I only said it because everyone is thinking it." Caboose said. C.T. would never let them find out about how true that was.

"Maybe mad makes a red laser, and depressed will make a blue laser." Tucker guessed.

"Well, I hope we don't find out what makes a brown laser." Caboose said.

"Hey, I have a new idea for what we can do with the prisoner," Grif spoke up.

"I am so gonna kill you all…" C.T. growled.

"You idiots shut up," Sarge commanded. "Hey Globey, you makin' a speech or ain't ya?"

"Hey, sure no problem. I did a sermon just the other day that the aliens loved." Church bragged as he floated up past the Reds, Blues and C.T.

"Sermon? You just read them the setup guide to our Inkjet printer!" Tucker called out.

"Yeah, and they eat that gadget stuff up. You gotta know your audience buddy." Church said as he faced his subjects.

"How is it possible that, ever since Caboose revived you, you can't remember anything except how to be a jackass?" Grif wondered out loud. There were already enough jackasses in this desert.

"Some things are hardwired." Tucker joked.

"No, they're just genetic," C.T. mumbled to herself before realizing the aliens were starting to point their guns at her.

"Attention true believers and... other people. And Prisoner." Church announced, getting everyone's attention and getting the aliens to not shoot yet. "We are here today to pay our final, and our first, respects, to the dearly departed. But first, I'd like you all to join me in a song, in honor of me. Hmm! I, _am the best~_ "

"Skip it!" Tucker, Sarge, and Grif interrupted before he let the aliens start dancing and rapping again.

"Fine. Okay, uh, in the beginning, there was darkness. And uh, and out from the darkness came a voice. And it said..." Church started getting distracted by… something. "And it said... Uh... Uh-out- out from the darkness came... Out from the darkness..."

"Is something wrong with him?" C.T. asked.

"Maybe his playback's skipping." Grif guessed with a shrug.

"I don't know," Tucker replied before turning to Caboose. "Dude, did you fuck him up or something? I mean, fuck him up more than usual, that is."

"Shhhh…" Caboose shushed the swordsman. "It's starting to get really good."

"Maybe he needs a reboot," Sarge spoke up. "Good thing I wore my boots. I'll reboot him right in the keister."

"Too much work. Shoot him. Works every time." C.T. suggested.

"You know, I'll take you up on that," Grif said.

"Out from the darkness came uh, someone. I'll be right back." Church mumbled to himself before floating away. The aliens just looked at each other, blarghing in complaint, wondering why their deity was leaving when it was just getting good.

"Uh oh, the natives are getting restless. Caboose, get up there and stall 'em, I'll figure out what's going on." Tucker said as he grabbed C.T.'s cuffs and started following the metal ball. "Also, if the aliens try to kill you, just give C.T. to them!"

"I'm right here!" C.T. called out.

"Okay!" Caboose called back.

"Fuck you!" C.T. yelled out before sighing. This was her life now. Argh, if she only trained in Capoeira… "So… what the Hell did you do to the Artifact?"

"Oh, you're wondering why the bowling ball over there's being an asshole huh?" Tucker said. "Why should I explain anything to you?"

"Well, I have literally nothing to lose. My boss thinks I'm dead, all my allies are either dead or against me, everything I've planned for the past couple of years has been shredded to pieces and you guys are just gonna kill me anyways." C.T. replied voice dropping to a depressed mumble. "I've been dead for years already, anyway. I have nothing to hide. May as well make it official." They stopped walking as Tucker looked at her, just thinking if it was a good idea to tell her anything. She did make some good points, in his head, but she could easily run off and come back with another army.

But then again, she _is_ kinda hot…

"Fine, but only about Church." Tucker sighed out. "Okay, first off, for all the years I've known him he has always been an asshole. Nothing more. But then, Captain Flowers goes ahead and dies and he-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait!" C.T. interrupted, shocked at the familiar name. "Flowers? You mean Florida? Butch!?"

"Florida? What the fuck are you talking about?" Tucker asked. "I said, Flowers. Captain of the Blood Gulch Blues for a while before he died of an aspirin overdose or something…"

"No, I meant… you should've known he was a Freelancer from the start…" C.T. muttered to herself but was loud enough for Tucker to hear. She knew how the Sim Trooper program worked. A Freelancer, to them, was just another name for a mercenary. The Freelancer would go through the scenario then leave. Simple.

But this broke the usual procedure. Florida shouldn't have been made an official Blue Team member, or any member of a team. At most, a Freelancer shouldn't be there for more than a couple of weeks.

"Wait, you're telling me that Cappy was a Freelancer all this time!?" Tucker exclaimed.

"Ugh, he always wanted people to call him that…" C.T. groaned, her eyes rolling under her helmet.

"That would explain why 'Cappy Florida' was written in his helmet…" Tucker mumbled to himself. "Hold on, how the fuck would you know Flowers was a Freelancer!?"

"Because… I used to work with him." C.T. admitted. It wasn't a pleasant experience to work with him, with him being unnaturally nice yet really cruel at the same time, but she did work with him for a few missions.

When and how the fuck did he become a Blue!? Blues were usually too stupid to be creepy, let alone lead a team.

"You worked with him…" Tucker repeated before it clicked. "Holy fucking shit, you're a Freelancer."

"Former Freelancer." C.T. clarified with a sigh. "I left the project on… less than better terms…" She said as she winced a little, the haunting memories of that day playing in her head again.

"Still, maybe can find what's wrong with Epsilon, then," Tucker said.

"Epsil-son of a bitch, he made _more_ didn't he?" C.T. cursed. "Of course he made more."

"Who made more? Seriously, why the fuck does Caboose understand this more than me?" Tucker said with a sigh. "You know what, let's just see what the fuck Church's doing because I have a good feeling on what it is."

"Okay," C.T. said before hearing a gun cocking behind her. "…Really?"

"Just making sure now," Tucker said, making sure to aim his Battle Rifle at her head while standing out of reach of her legs. "Now walk."

"Damn it." C.T. groaned before walking towards the metal ball, which seemed to be seeing things. C.T. silently wondered if an A.I. could hallucinate.

"Church!" Tucker called out as they got near Church, who seemed to be staring out at nothing. "Hey Church, what're doing out here man?"

"What?" Church turned around to see Tucker and C.T., for some reason here with him where the grass was green and the water was not spiked with chlorine. For some reason, he saw C.T. with brown armor before snapping out of it and seeing he was back in Sandtrap. "Hu-What?"

"The aliens don't like it when you leave them alone." Tucker continued. "And I don't like it when the aliens don't like stuff."

"Is there anything wrong?" C.T. had to ask. She was concerned about the A.I. and how it was fragmented from the Alpha.

"Did you guys see them?" Church asked, which only confused the two.

"Who?" Tucker said as he looked at where Church was looking at. There was nothing to note but a rock formation.

"The person, from the darkness, the- no, th- that's not right, that's not right. Well did you see?" Church asked for any confirmation that what he saw was real.

"Maybe it's something wrong with his programming. Not translating the proper information at times." C.T. muttered to herself.

"Or, he's having another memory flash." Tucker guessed as the Reds approached from behind.

"What're you people talkin' about?" Sarge asked.

"Tucker said something about a memory flash, whatever that is," C.T. answered.

"A what?"

"Random memories that keep coming back to him," Tucker explained. "He's been getting 'em more and more lately and I don't think he has any control over 'em. He gets all emo too, it's annoying. Like having a chick around, but without all the fun parts of having a chick around. Like bonin'!"

"I'm standing right here!" C.T. shouted out.

"And that's what I'm talking about," Tucker said casually, causing C.T. to growl at him.

"You should take out his memory unit and blow on it. That'll fix it." Sarge suggested.

"No it won't, it'll cause the thing to erode faster due to the moisture." C.T. pointed out. "Fixing his memory is much more complicated than that. It's…"

"Is he having more memories?" Caboose said out of nowhere from behind Tucker, startling the Reds and C.T.

'When the fuck did he get here!?' C.T. thought, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart.

"Yep," Tucker replied, used to Caboose magical teleporting.

"Did he remember me this time?" Caboose asked.

"Nope," Tucker answered.

"I saw a canyon, and uh, a waterfall. And there was some kinda dark figure there." Church tried to remember as much as he could from the memory flash. It was becoming blurrier by the second.

"Was the dark figure me?" Caboose asked again.

"Caboose, we will let you know if you come up, I promise!" Tucker shouted out. "A waterfall, huh? That's the second time you've talked about that."

"Yeah, but where could that be?" Church wondered out loud.

"Uh, that sounds like our new bases," Grif spoke up as Sarge walked behind Grif.

"It does?" Caboose sounded confused before remembering. "It does!"

"Waterfall… a Red and Blue base…" C.T. muttered to herself before remembering the specific location. "Oh, I remember. Simulation Outpost 17-B. Codename: Valhalla."

"What!?" Tucker exclaimed. "Caboose, why didn't you mention that the first time?"

"Um, I didn't remember it?" Caboose weakly admitted.

"You didn't remember a waterfall?" Tucker said incredulously. "Dude, that's like not remembering your first girlfriend turned out to have a dick. Right Grif?"

"Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story." Grif groaned out as C.T. chuckled in the background… before getting the butt of a Battle Rifle stuffed into her helmet.

"OW! Fuck!"

"Sorry. AWOL. FNG. FUBAR. CH. GOFO."

'I bet you don't know what any of those stand for.' C.T. deadpanned. Internally, she sighed.

These idiots are going to be the death of her.

Save Game… Quit!

Whew! Done! I paused this for a while but I finally actually finished it. Now, I need to get back to playing games because I have a serious backlog! I really had to buy the KH HD collection…

UknownHero signing off, my friends!


	3. Connecticut 3: Friend or Foe

First chapter of 2018, right here and a month before I have to go back to school! UknownHero here and welcome to another chapter of Redemption! Yep, hopefully this year won't turn out so bad in the world where lootboxes ruin my future and half the people in the film industry are… well I was gonna say predators or pedophiles but I may be getting that wrong.

Ugh, it's gonna be a long year isn't it?

Anyway, er, let's do this shit right, people!

Load Game… Start!

Connecticut 3: Friend or Foe

"Okay, I know this is gonna be a shitty idea but you're gonna help the Reds with whatever the fuck they want." Tucker told C.T. as they walked to the graveyard of vehicles, his gun still being stuffed into her back. "You'll be safe with them while I find Caboose and sweet talk the aliens into not killing you on sight. Just… don't hurt them too much. They're the only ones here that know shit about cars."

"And let me guess, I'm still going to be cuffed." C.T. sighed out. "How the fuck am I gonna help like this?"

"I don't know; just don't break a bone." Tucker replied. "At the very least don't permanently damage them. They're kinda dicks anyway, so I really don't give a shit if you kick 'em in the nuts once or twice."

"If it means spending less time with you, gladly." C.T. said as they approached the Reds, who were fixing up their jeep. C.T. couldn't help but stare at the cannon they had on the back replacing the usual turret. It was intimidating to see it up close, and she saw the damage it caused around the excavation site. The thing was like a miniature orbital cannon… that would shut down their car every time it fired. Tucker told her the flaw earlier and Sarge's absolute refusal to fix it. "Now, can you please stop staring at my ass?"

"Give me a second." Tucker said as C.T. swore she heard a click of a camera before being shoved forward. "Hey, Reds! Take care of the prisoner for me! Gonna go and do shit with Caboose and the aliens!"

"Aw, what? It's already tiring doing this." Grif complained as he dropped the wrench in his hand.

"You've been standing there holding that wrench for the past hour!" Sarge called out from under the jeep, repairing the driveshaft and other mechanical crap Grif couldn't be bothered to understand.

"Huh, you're right. I could do better." Grif said before lifelessly flopping onto the ground. "Much better."

"They're your problem now!" Tucker shouted out as he left. C.T. couldn't help but notice that she wasn't the problem he was referring to.

'These idiots are literally going to be the death of me…' She groaned in her head as she outwardly sighed. There was no point in making enemies out of these guys, she rationalized, and there was no point in escaping. She may as well get on their good side until they freed her. "Okay, is there something you want me to do? I can't just stand here doing nothing." C.T. offered.

"Hey, you're living my dream here. You're forced to do nothing, so shut up." Grif said, barely lifting up his head. "This is a good time to take a nap. I'll see ya next week."

"No time, dirtbag. Our upgrade to our radio's comin' soon." Sarge announced as he got out from under the jeep. "We're trying to get in contact with the members of my team back at our base, but our long-range radio is on the fritz. Your men must've sabotaged it while we weren't lookin'…"

"Or, because our car's engine dies every ten seconds…" Grif grumbled under his breath.

"So what? There are no long-range radios here. My men and I destroyed every radio we could get our hands to make sure no one sent out a distress signal." C.T. pointed out before muttering to herself. "And look how that worked out."

"That's why we're waiting for an upgrade to arrive." Sarge replied just as Church arrived. "Speaking of the Blue Devil, Grif! Get the Chupathingy runnin'!"

"Sorry I couldn't come earlier. Those aliens are really clingy." Epsilon said as he floated his way to the jeep before spotting C.T. "What the fuck is she doing here?"

"Tucker dumped her on us." Grif groaned out as he slowly (emphasis on slowly) got up. "Wanted to jerk off or something. Wasn't really listening."

"I'm not gonna do anything until she leaves." Epsilon stated. C.T. couldn't help but sigh as she realized how childish the A.I. was.

"You know what, I'm just gonna stand over there and contemplate the fact that I'm not dead yet seeing that I'm not needed." She said as she jerked her head over to one of the disabled jeeps.

"No way. You're not leaving our sight for a second." Sarge said as he aimed his shotgun at her. "For all we know, you could be using your super radio to contact back up. You're staying right here."

"Well, if she's staying, I'm-HEY!" Church called out as Sarge jumped up and grabbed him. "Hey! Watch it you dick! Don't touch that! What the fuck are you-AH! That's fucking cold!" He cried out as an antenna was stuffed into his exhaust port. "Oh, that feels weird!"

"Shut up! Do you wanna find out about your vision or don't ya?" Grif asked as he turned on the radio. Church just grumbled incoherently in response. "Signal's looking good Sarge!"

"Okay, antenna ball! Keep still while we contact home base." Sarge said as he started tuning the radio to their frequency.

"Don't call me that! And hurry up! The metal rod's isn't exactly in a comfortable place." Epsilon complained, causing C.T. to chuckle under her breath. "Oh shut up!"

"Come in Valhalla Outpost Number One. Come in! Red Base, do you read me?" Sarge said as he got the right frequency. "Come in! Give me some more power, shotput." Soon, the static they were picking up was starting to clear as a rather annoying voice broke through.

" _Uh, Sarge? Yeah, hi_." The guy on the radio answered.

"Who is this, identify yourself." The Red Leader of the Red Team ordered.

" _It's me, Simmons. Sorry, Sir_." He quickly apologized. C.T. could already guess from his voice that he loved kissing ass. Met someone just like that during basic. Though… something bothered her about his tone. Why did it sound so stilted and forced? Why was he talking so informally to someone like Sarge? She had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

"How is everything going there, Simmons?"

" _Here? Uh, fine I guess. Everything's good. How 'bout you guys?_ "

"Mission is complete. We're preparing to head out soon."

" _What_ _was that? Sorry, some static here. This radio's a little messed up. Been a bit rainier here_."

"I said; we're comin' back soon."

" _Oh, that's great. Hey, when do you think that'll be, exactly_?"

"Hard to say, Simmons. We'll let you know."

" _Okay Sarge, sounds good_."

"Over and out." Sarge said as Grif turned off the radio before climbing out of the car.

"Thank for the help." Grif thanked the metal ball as he got off the antenna.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm not gonna fly straight for a week now." Church grumbled as he drifted off to the side and out of their sight.

"Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control." Grif commented as he stretched a little.

"I don't know about that." C.T. spoke up as she approached the two. "His tone was rather odd back there. Hm… have you made any enemies other than Blue Team?"

"Whew! Let's see…" Grif breathed out as he tried to recount the countless enemies he made alone, before shaking his head. "Wait, why do you care? You tried to kill us a few days ago. Besides, it sounded like nothing really happened back at base."

"Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner." Sarge stated in a flat tone.

"Excuse me?" C.T. got out in confusion, wondering how the hell he came to that conclusion. "Did you say Donut? There's someone named Donut? Hold on, how the fuck did you figure that out!?"

"It pays to know how your subordinates tick." Sarge replied before turning to the orange fatty. "Grif, how do you answer the radio at our base?"

"Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today." Grif answered in a dull tone, having done this for the millionth time.

"And we've drilled that since day one! Simmons answered 'Hi.' That was my first clue!" Sarge explained.

"So? Maybe he's just ups-" Grif started only for Sarge to interrupt him with another clue.

"He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance?" Sarge questioned.

"Who's Lopez?" C.T. asked.

"He's a robot we have that takes care of the boring shit. Like maintenance." Grif answered right before his eyes widened underneath his helmet. "Which means the radio shouldn't be broken."

"And look at the time." Sarge said as C.T. quickly glanced at her HUD's clock.

"Can't, clock's broken." Grif sighed out. The emp from the Command fucked it up so he missed his episode of Lost. It most certainly was not because he sweated it to death.

"1730 on mine." C.T. announced.

"That's Donut's daily wine and cheese hour!" Grif gasped out, remembering all the cheese and wine he stole from Donut's stash as C.T. looked at the Reds weirdly. Well, they certainly let anyone into the Sim Trooper these days.

"I didn't hear any tinkling glasses. Did you?" Sarge asked rhetorically.

"You're right." Grif said in response.

"Okay, that's very sound logic considering what you know about your team." C.T. admitted.

"And that's not even half the clues Simmons managed to drop on us while he's captured." Sarge said, somewhat proud of the maroon armoured man. "He also mentioned that the weather was rainier. And as we all know, Mt. Rainier is the biggest landmass in the state of... Washington."

"We do? Uh uh- I mean we do!" Grif tried to cover up the fact he never passed any class he had back in his school days.

"How many Washington's do we know?" Sarge asked, causing C.T.'s eyes to widen.

"Hold on… you don't mean Wash right? Agent Washington from Project Freelancer?" C.T. guessed. "Kinda awkward, naïve, a little gullible, kind of like that blue guy just with a functioning frontal lobe?"

"…Who the fuck are you talking about!?" Grif exclaimed. "The guy we met was cold, kind of an ass, preachy and a little crazy. Then again most of those guys are…" C.T. stumbled back a little at Grif's description. That was not the Wash she knew back in her Freelancer days.

"Did he at least have black and yellow armour?" C.T. sighed out.

"Yeah." Grif answered. "Hey, wait a minute; how the fuck do you know Wa… holy fuck, you're a Freelancer."

" _Former_ Freelancer." C.T. corrected before deadpanning at the sight of Grif suddenly covering his crotch as he aimed his gun at her. "What are you doing?"

"Look, the first Freelancer chick almost killed us on a daily basis. I'm just protecting what's important!" Grif whimpered out.

"Grif, put that gun down. She might be useful very soon." Sarge ordered. Grif reluctantly lowered his gun as he remembered the Freelancer in front of him was unarmed and handcuffed. "Especially when you realize what the biggest mass we know associated with Washington."

"Oh fuck, the Meta." Grif swore, confusing C.T. even more. "He was one of your Freelancer pals. White, large, mute and scary as shit."

"Maine." C.T. whispered out. She really should've kept tabs on Freelancer. Just what the fuck happened while she was "dead"?

"So the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez, and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner." Sarge summarized.

"We have to help 'em!" Grif called out with determination in his voice before pausing. "Wait, Doc? Ha- how do you know he's there?"

"Please, Grif, it's so obvious. I don't wanna insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail." Sarge said as Grif groaned at another insult. Meanwhile, C.T. had a feeling everything Simmons said meant nothing but she also had the feeling Sarge was right. And if they really knew any living Freelancers, they were the best bet in helping her bring the Director to justice.

"Come on! We're going to Valhalla. It's time for a rescue mission!" Sarge declared as he hopped into the jeep.

"Rescue mission? How the hell are we supposed to fight Wash and the Meta?" Grif had to ask as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"I'm coming too. Let's see if I can talk some sense into them." C.T. said as she hopped into the back. "But I can't do anything with these cuffs still on."

"Don't worry, little missy. You're gonna need 'em for what I'm planning." Sarge said as he revved the car's engine, selectively deciding not to mention that there were no keys to them. "By the way, how good are the seatbelts in the jeep?"

"Good, I guess." Grif replied with a shrug, none of them noticing a certain A.I. unit following them. "Wait… why?"

"Something tells me this is probably going to kill us." C.T. mumbled out.

"This is a plan made by Sarge. It's not gonna try and kill you, but it's definitely going to try and kill me." Grif grumbled. "You'll get it once you get to know us."

"I think I'm going to regret this…" C.T. sighed out as Sarge began to explain his plan to the two while she worked her arms under her legs. This was going to be a long trip so she may as well do something productive on the way to Valhalla.

Meanwhile, Tucker just looked on in disbelief as the Reds drove off with C.T. "God fucking damn it." Tucker swore. He just managed to talk down the aliens from killing her to breaking every bone in her body for the next few hours. They were gonna be pissed. And when they were pissed, not angry, pissed, they get really fuck-ready.

No, he didn't mean horny. He meant fuck-ready.

"Hey, Tucker." Caboose greeted from behind. Tucker just sighed, not wanting to deal with the idiot right now.

"Yeah, what's up dude?" Tucker replied.

"Have you seen Church?"

"No, I'm looking for the red guys." Tucker answered and looked into the distance. "Looks like they fixed one of the jeeps and took off. They even took C.T. with them."

"Oh, well that's not good." Caboose said as he nervously tried not to turn his head towards the audience behind him.

"Yeah, with C.T. she could probably escape and beat the Reds. Then again, I don't have to be on babysitting duty anymore." Tucker sighed out. "And maybe Church went with them, or maybe they took him, I don't know dude. Just kinda worried we're gonna have to fight C.T.'s back up soon."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I don't think that would happen." Caboose said.

"What? How the fuck would you know?" Tucker said as he turned around… as he saw the aliens with their plasma weapons and grenades standing right behind the blue idiot.

"'Cause if he was gone, I think some people who were looking for him might be really mad that he's not here and we might have to explain to those people why he's not here and those people might not like our explanation and those people might hurt us with plasma guns and plasma grenades and those same people who really, really hate the new Mean Lady are gonna try and eat us if don't run right now." Caboose said as quickly as possible.

"Oh… Right…" Tucker mumbled awkwardly.

"…I mean the aliens." Caboose explained.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Tucker said. "…We should probably run right now."

"That is the smartest thing I've heard from your mouth." Caboose admitted. There was another couple of minutes of silence until Tucker broke it.

"Hey! The blue guy called all your mothers a blargh honk honk blargh honk blargh earlier and take it up the honk!"

(A few days later…)

"Oh, Simmons… Simmons… Where are you? Yoo-hoo!" Sarge called out, holding onto C.T. by her cuffs. "Hey! We have a prisoner! Prepare the P.O.W. room! Wait, never mind! That was thrown out for our top secret Simulation Room, wasn't it!? Simmons, simulate the P.O.W. room!"

"This isn't going to work." C.T. whispered to the man in red.

"Shut up and sell it. Grif should be in position any minute now." Sarge whispered back. C.T. just rolled her eyes under her helmet.

"Oh no… what kind of monsters are you? I cannot imagine the horrors you will inflict my body. Aaaahhhh…" C.T. said in a flat tone. Ugh, why did she agree to this? Meanwhile at Blue Base, Wash as observing them through the enhanced zoom of his visor.

"Looks like just two of them." Wash said. "Though, I thought the orange one would be with him." The Meta growled at him. "No… it doesn't look like another Sim. Can't really make out what type of armour he has from here." The Meta then growled differently. "I don't know if either of them have it. I can't see from this far. I already told you." Once again, the Meta growled. "No you stay here, guard these two. I'll go out there."

The Meta then gave Wash an affirmative growl and a nod.

"Do you have any idea how he understands the Meta?" Simmons whispered to Doc.

"I don't know." Doc admitted quietly. "I just thought he communicated by smells."

"If either of them gives me any trouble, just kill the prisoners and come help me." Wash ordered casually as he left the hostages alone with the Meta.

"I hope your friends don't give him any trouble." Doc said nervously.

"If it's one of my friends, they won't stand a chance." Simmons muttered out as the Meta growled at them, scaring them right back into silence. Meanwhile, Sarge kept calling out for Simmons as he waited for either Wash or the Meta to arrive. C.T. started to grow more restless as she waited. She wanted to know what happened after all this time.

"Maroon 1, Maroon 1, where are you!?" Sarge continued to announce his presence. "Hello…!"

"Why the fuck did I believe him in the first place…?" C.T. whispered to herself just as she heard a gun cock from behind them.

"Freeze! Stay where you are. Turn around." A stern and serious voice commanded from behind them.

'It better be Wash or I am decking this guy in the face.' C.T. thought as they turned around. Wash stepped back as he saw the type of armour she was wearing before shaking his head. It couldn't be, could it?

No, she was dead.

"Well, well. If it isn't our good buddy, Agent Washington." Sarge said in a mockingly friendly tone. "And just what are you doing here?"

"Don't play dumb with me Sarge." Wash said as he pointed his gun forward. "I think you know why I'm here. Where's the rest of your guys? Where's Epsilon?"

"Wash, put the gun down." C.T. said calmly.

"And who the hell are you? How do you know me?" Wash asked as he placed the barrel of his BR against her helmet. For all he knew, Sarge had managed to find her Freelancer armour and have one of his guys wear it while using a voice modifier. He wasn't going to let his guard down, no matter how convincing it was. "Where did you get that armour?"

"I have it because it's mine." C.T. answered. "It's me, Wash. Put the gun down and let's talk this out."

"I don't believe you." Wash said. "C.T. is dead. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You get to ask one question before I shoot you."

"Wash, what the fuck are you doing? This isn't you." C.T. growled out. "Why do you want Epsilon?"

"That was two questions, so you get a shot." Wash said as he shot her in the foot.

"FUCK!" C.T. cried out in pain as Sarge quickly held her up. "God fucking dammit!" She said through gritted teeth. Stupid cheap assholes, trying to save money by not providing bio-foam injectors into their suits. At least she kept her painkillers in stock.

"Now where's Epsilon?" Wash questioned again, ignoring the murderous glare he was receiving from C.T.

"Someplace safe." Sarge replied vaguely as he glared at the enemy Freelancer.

"You can either tell me, or you can tell the Meta back at the base." Wash threatened.

"Don't you mean Maine?" C.T. said as she winced a little. "Just what happened to him?"

"You don't have the right to ask any more questions unless you wanna trade a question for another bullet." Wash said. "Besides, you're going to meet him soon. He really wants a chance to repay you guys for all the trouble you caused him."

"I seemed to recall you caused him some of that trouble yourself." Sarge pointed out.

"Situation's changed. Now drop your weapons." Wash ordered.

Sarge grumbled under his breath as he dropped his shotgun. Washington picked it up and aimed it at the two.

"Just so you know, I'm going to want that back in a minute." Sarge said.

"Where's your Pistol?" Wash asked.

"What are you talking about?" Sarge replied, feigning ignorance.

"Pistol. Drop it." Wash ordered again.

"How about 'no'." C.T. said as she aimed Sarge's Magnum at his helmet. "These things aren't as powerful as they used to be, they can still blow your head off. Stop what you're doing, and calm down. We can talk this out."

"How about I just kill you? Seems easier." Wash said as he aimed the shotgun at her chest. "Anyway, you're disrespecting the person who used to wear that armour."

"For the last time, it's me!" C.T. shouted out. "Take off my helmet if you have to."

"Yeah, I don't care anymore." Wash stated. "After all the shit I've been through, the Director. Project Freelancer. Everything. I don't want to deal with it anymore. And all it deserves is for it to be forgotten. Now drop it."

C.T. just looked at Wash in disbelief and almost pulled the trigger right then and there… before relaxing and dropping the gun. "Fine. Have it your way." She said in a defeated tone.

"Good. Now march." Wash ordered as he picked up the Pistol. Yet, they both stood their ground.

"Son. You can insult me, you can ambush me, you can even take away my weapons. But if you think I'm going to set one single pinky toe inside Blue Base without my _shotgun_ , you must not know who you're dealing with." Sarge stated, with C.T staying silent as she got ready.

"I said move." Wash said forcefully.

"And I said _shotgun_." Sarge said as C.T. tapped her good foot, waiting for the plan to be executed.

"Yes… I have your _shotgun_." Wash said as he tilted his head in confusion as C.T. started to grow a little bit irritated.

"No, I mean, _shotgun_!" Sarge called out a little more effort.

"What is this? You think I'm going to give you back your shotgun because you asked?" Wash guessed as C.T. finally snapped.

"MARK!" C.T. yelled out as she turned to the wall.

"Huh? Who the fuck is Ma-Oh! That's my cue! Sync! Oh shit!" Grif's muffled voice exclaimed as they heard an engine rev.

"What? Wait, what're you up to? What is that noise?" Wash asked in confusion before noticing. "Do I hear a... OOF!" He grunted out as C.T. shoved her shoulder into his gut while grabbing the Pistol as the wall exploded, with Grif in the Chupathingy blowing out of the rubble. Sarge dived out the way as C.T. and Wash could only watch as the car headed straight for them.

"...CAR?!" Wash shouted out as he looked into C.T.'s visor, seeing angry eye past.

'Oh shit.' Wash managed to think as he realized not only C.T. was alive… she was going to kill him.

They were then run over by the jeep.

C.T. grunted as she rolled over the windshield and into the back. "Ugh, that's a broken rib." C.T. groaned out.

"How's my bumper taste, asshole?!" Grif taunted until like a horror zombie, Wash stuck out his hand over the front of the car. "Uh oh! C.T.!"

"It had to be the most un-killable people in the Project." C.T. grumbled as she and Wash slowly got up on top of the car, simultaneously activating their mag-boots. They both looked at each other before firing their guns. C.T. just missed while Wash just hit the cannon's shielding before getting fed up and engaging in melee combat. "Keep it still!" C.T. called out as they stumbled around a bit while they traded blows before feinting with a hologram and punching him in the throat.

"Yeah, because that's fucking easy with you two on it!" Grif shouted out before looking up to see that Wash was so focused on taking down C.T. that he was completely ignoring him. With a grunt of effort, he lifted himself up and bashed his helmet into Wash's codpiece, causing the former Recovery Agent to double over in pain and giving C.T. an opportunity to pistol-whip hi before ducking under a kick then using the cannon's barrel to hit his head.

Thinking quickly Grif slammed his foot onto all six pedals at once and the Warthog swerved around sideways, launching Wash off the bonnet and across the valley with C.T. managing to steal his Battle Rifle as she flipped over into the passenger seat. As he flew, Wash drew out the shotgun, but as he passed by a large boulder, Sarge snatched the gun back from him in midair.

"Huh?!" Wash exclaimed before crashing into a pile of Fusion Coils.

"See? Told you I'd get it back." Sarge said as Grif drove up to him.

"How 'bout next time we use a codeword, we choose something you don't say every five seconds?" Grif snarked as Sarge climbed into the back and got on the gun while C.T. righted herself as the BR magnetized to her back.

"Just drive, numbnuts." Sarge deadpanned.

"Hurry! He's getting up!" C.T. warned. Grif didn't do anything except gun it towards the pile of Fusion Coils as Wash staggered to his feet.

"Agent Wash…" Sarge started as he aimed the gun at the steel and yellow Freelancer just as he looked up.

"Son of a bitch." Wash let out in a quiet voice.

"You just got-" Sarge then accidentally pulled the trigger too soon and blew Wash to Kingdom Come, with the car shutting down the instant it was fired. "Ah, damn it. I messed up my one-liner!"

"Is he dead?" Grif had to ask.

"Knowing him; no, but he's going to be out of commission for a bit. Freelancer armour is a built to survive types of explosions like that." C.T. said as she looked at Blue Base. "Once the car starts again, we better hurry towards Blue Base before Maine kills your friends or Wash gets up."

"Er… Doc isn't really a friend and Simmons is barely a teammate." Grif pointed out.

"Just drive, numbnuts." C.T. sighed out as she and Sarge switched seats, giving C.T. an approving look. Once the car started again, he gunned it towards Blue Base. From there, she could see some guy purple armour (possibly this Doc person) stuck in a wall, Simmons trying to help and Maine moving really slowly to grab his Bruteshot.

"Hurry it up!" Sarge shouted out as Grif circled the Base. Simmons, after leaving Doc to his untimely death, starting running as Meta finally grabbed his weapon. Now at his normal speed, the Meta fired his Bruteshot, causing Simmons to leap off the base with a scream and, just as the jeep drives past, he grabbed onto the barrel of the cannon but his momentum sent it spiraling around several times, causing C.T. to duck, before ending up pointing back towards the base as C.T. managed to stabilize the gun.

"Simmons, stop showing off and get in already!" Sarge ordered, ignoring C.T. who was breathing hard after almost being decapitated by the cannon.

"This isn't on purpose!" Simmons screamed out as C.T. spotted Maine aiming at them. Thinking quickly, she aimed the cannon at him. "Who the fuck are you!? Wait! Is that the Emp Cannon!? Don't fire! Don't fire!"

"Fuck! Right." C.T. swore before firing her Pistol at Maine. However, the Meta shrugged off the bullets and fired more grenades at the retreating Reds. As the jeep hit a bump, Simmons lost his grip on the gun and ended up hanging from its back bumper, scraping along the ground.

"No, wait wait wait! Guys, guys, just slow down a little, why don't you-" Simmons started only for his words to be gurgled after Grif drove into the creek.

"What did he say?" Sarge asked as C.T. got off the gun and kneeled down.

"Grab my hand!" C.T. called out as she held out her cuffed arms while hooking one of her legs around the pole that mounted the cannon.

"But I have never touched a girl in a positive manner before!" Simmons admitted.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" C.T. exclaimed, taking a second to see where Maine was, only to he was hurtling towards like he was fired from a catapult. "Oh what the hell?!"

"Grif, incoming!" Sarge informed.

"Don't worry; we'll just do what we did last time." Grif said.

"This isn't going to work like last time!" C.T. yelled out as she got back on the gun and fired, stalling car to a halt just in time for the Meta land on the ground instead of the hood… but instead causing it to crash into the Meta as he remained unmoved, causing it to flip end over end as everyone but Simmons were catapulted out of the car. Then, just before the jeep hit the ground, the Meta raised his Bruteshot and fired, sending it barreling towards them.

"I'm too scared to hold on, but I'm too scared to let go!" Simmons called out as the remains of the car hurtled towards them.

"HIT THE DECK!" C.T. shouted out as she dived out of the way while Grif pushed Sarge down before they were all killed.

"How am I not dead yet?" C.T. groaned as everyone stood up while a tire from the jeep rolled over him. "Because I was joking about these guys being the death of me."

"That was the worst driving of all time!" Sarge scolded as Grif gathered his bearings and pulled out his gun.

"Because that wasn't driving, that was flying and burning!" Grif pointed out.

"Don't forget the crashing…" C.T. spoke up as she checked herself for any major injuries before taking a few steps, not surprised at the limp she had. She was sure there was still some bio-foam in the First-Aid kit back in Sandtrap so she wasn't that worried. That is, if they survived.

"Touché." Sarge admitted as Simmons staggered around holding a large pipe, thinking it was his gun, still dazed from the experience.

"Get ready men. Remember, he can't kill all of us." Sarge said as he got into a battle stance, shotgun at the ready.

"Why can't he kill all of us?" Grif pointed out.

"Maine was kind of the most deadly in Freelancer next to Texas and Carolina." C.T. added in. "I could probably survive taking him… probably… without handcuffs." She said as she held up her still-bound hands.

"Hmm. That is a good point." Sarge admitted.

"Whit- weehu heenu- hey, I'm okay." Simmons got out as he aimed his pipe at the Meta, only for C.T. to knock it out of his hands and give him her BR, which he grabbed.

"Get ready." Sarge ordered as he stood his ground.

"To fight or run?" C.T. asked as she got out her Pistol.

"Hopefully the second one." Grif said as he aimed his gun. "This is not going to be good."

"Well, it hasn't exactly been going well this entire-huh?" C.T. started to snark until she spotted a shiny ball approaching them. "What the-Epsilon!?"

"Hey guys, what's going on? Man, your jeep got fucked up!" Church greeted as he looked at the Meta, who seemed to be eyeing him rather creepily. "Who's the big dude? Sup Gigantor?"

The Meta growled as he tried to grab the metal ball, only for Church to float slightly out of his reach. C.T. just stared in disbelief as she watched Maine, one of the scariest people in the Project, try to get Epsilon as if he was a ball of yarn. 'What the fuck happened while I was away?' C.T. thought.

"Whoa! You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Church said, looking a little offended. This only confused C.T. even more.

"What're you doing here?" Grif exclaimed.

"Who cares, just lead him out of here!" Sarge ordered, seeing that the Meta was so distracted he barely registered C.T.'s existence or the fact that there was free equipment ripe for the taking.

"Hey ho- where?" Church asked in confusion.

"Anywhere that's not here!" Sarge called out. Church nodded and floated away.

"Hey come on big boy, follow me! Look how shiny I am, woohoo!" Church taunted as the Meta gave chase.

"Let's get out of here and hide. Hopefully, Epsilon won't be captured." C.T. said as they started running in the opposite direction, towards the wall Grif crashed through.

"What the fuck was that floating thing? And who the fuck are you!?" Simmons exclaimed as he looked at the cuffed woman in black and red armour who was limping her way to their escape.

"Short version. That was Church and she's a Freelancer." Grif replied as he started to run out of breath. "Now shut up and run!"

"Another Freelancer!? Gotta be fucking kidding me…" Simmons grumbled out.

"At least I'm not trying to kill you." C.T. pointed out while mentally adding. 'Yet.'

"Quick! Everyone, through the hole." Sarge ordered before sniffling to himself. "Just sayin' that makes me miss Donut."

"Seriously, what kind of name is Donut?" C.T. wondered out loud.

"That's what I said when we met him!" Grif called out. "Anyway, what're we gonna do? We can't outrun him and our jeep is destroyed."

"We have to seal the opening." Sarge stated.

"Hey, we're not leaving Epsilon with Wash and Maine." C.T. said, not wanting the A.I. in the hands of their enemy. "Besides, none of us have grenades and bullets of our caliber won't work. Maybe we can steal some from one of the bases if they have them in stock…" She wondered out loud just as Church went through the hole.

"Hey I know he's a friend o' yours, but I gotta tell you that guy with the shiny head is kind of an asshole." Church admitted, not knowing that was everyone's opinion as well.

"Well if you're here, then where's the- oh no, there's the Meta!" Simmons called out as he pointed at the monster coming their way to murder them. He was actually running rather slowly Simmons noted. He guessed the temporal distortion hadn't worn off completely. "Come on we have to hurry!"

Grif looked around before seeing C.T. attempting to check how many bullets she had in her gun. "I have an idea." Grif said as he walked up to Church. "Hey! You! Dipshit!"

"You talkin' to me?" Church said, a little bit of irritation in his tone.

"Yeah, you. This is all your fault you stupid piece o' junk. You got us into this mess."

"Me? It was your friend we had to rescue!"

"Grif, what the fuck are you doing!?" C.T. exclaimed before glaring at him, knowing what the Director put the Alpha through, the various unwinnable scenarios that would ultimately be blamed on him. There was no way that history was going to repeat itself. "It isn't helping!"

"Yes, it is. Just follow my lead." Grif said as he went back to insulting Church. "Ah bullshit, now the Meta's coming up here and he's gonna kill all of us, starting with you."

"What are you doing?" Sarge asked in confusion as C.T. got it.

"I wasn't even looking for you guys, I was trying to find-"

"Shut it! You could've helped us no… you had to sit on your shiny metal ass and watch us get killed!" C.T. spoke up in a taunting tone. She felt guilty doing it but there was no other way. Besides, a fragment can't fragment itself… right?

"I just got here!"

"Oh, I get it. Can it, you overgrown ornament!" Sarge joined in as well.

"Oh, now you wanna start?"

"Hey, I'm not done with you yet ball bearing." Grif called out.

"That's rude."

"Your mother takes it in the exhaust port!" Sarge insulted as he used his years of insulting Grif in a more productive and life-saving manner. He knew this skill would be important one day.

"Hey, cockbite! Why don't you bite cock because that's all you're good for!"

"Oh fuck you!"

"Come on Simmons, help us." Grif whispered to his teammate.

"I don't even know what you're doing." Simmons admitted as more insults were thrown at the A.I.

"Your mother gets paddled like a pinball!"

"Hey, let's leave mothers outta this!"

"Yeah Sarge, that's taking it too far. Don't insult the crippled."

"She isn't crippled!"

"Oh right. Sorry. Don't insult the retarded, Sarge!"

"I think the politically correct term to refer to her as is whale!"

"Why do you keep insulting my mother!? …Do I even have a mother!?"

"We're trying to increase the stress level." Grif explained.

"We need some insults!" Sarge ordered.

"Running out of material here!" C.T. said as she tried to think of more.

"Um, okay." Simmons said nervously before throwing out his own insults. "Grif, you're so fat you broke your arm and gravy came out. Sarge, I find a lot of your tactical decisions to be questionable if not downright mediocre. And you, I find it hard to believe that you were captured by my team or the Blues but if you were I have to say that speaks volumes for your overall skills and intelligence. It's a wonder you know how to breathe."

This earned him a pistol whip to the head, courtesy of C.T.

"Not insults for us Simmons, for him!" Sarge shouted out.

"I don't understand the rules of your stupid game I just got here!" Simmons whined out from the ground.

"Ah, you people are idiots." Church grumbled out as the Reds and C.T. saw that the Meta was getting really close now.

"This isn't working. We need something to make him mad. Really mad." Grif stated.

"No shit, Sherlock." Sarge muttered out.

"Has he seen the last episode of The Sopranos yet?" Simmons suggested as C.T. groaned to herself.

She knew exactly what to say.

She quickly ran in front of the hole and called out to the A.I. "Hey Epsilon!"

"What?" Church said as he stared at the former Freelancer in confusion. Taking a deep breath as she got herself mentally prepared, she shouted out in her loudest voice.

" **ALLISON WAS A WHORE!"**

" _What_!?" Church growled out. Suddenly, his eye started to glow a bright red as a laser beam shoots out of it, aimed straight at C.T.'s head. She quick fell backward, holding her arms up as her cuffs were disintegrated as the laser proceeded to blast around the hole, causing the wall to collapse over it and block the way just in time to prevent Wash and the Meta from going through or shooting them.

"Holy shit! You alright!?" Simmons exclaimed as C.T. just laid on the ground, her arms spread out, not wanting to move in the slightest.

"I… am never… doing that again…" C.T. panted out, recovering from everything that had just happened. Wow, she was really rusty, wasn't she? "Just… give me a sec… the ground feels soft here…"

"What? No! Open it up! Open it up! I have to go back!" Church panicked as he tried to do the laser face again.

"Go back? Son, are you crazy!?" Sarge said as he took a step forward. "After what we just went through to get outta there?"

"No, he'll find her!" Church warned, causing the Reds to look at him with confused expressions under their helmets. "Don't you understand? I can't let them… get to her... first…"

And with that, Church fell out of the air and onto C.T.'s stomach, completely drained of power.

"Huh? Epsilon?" C.T. groaned out as she sat up and held Church's body in her hands.

"Wow, I guess he ran out of juice." Grif muttered out as C.T. got up as she studied the Artifact closely, seeing solar panels on the top part of it.

"He should be recharged soon as long as we keep him in the sun." C.T. informed as she threw Church's body at Simmons, who fumbled with it before catching it firmly in his hands.

"He's had a hard day. Let him sleep it off. Load him up, let's hit the road." Sarge commanded as they started making their way to the exit.

"We don't have a car." C.T. pointed out with a dull tone before turning on her GPS. "Come on, it's gonna be a long walk back to Sandtrap."

"So, what is this thing, like some kinda pet? And who the hell's Allison?" Simmons asked.

"It's… It's a long story…" C.T. groaned out as they walked. "Do you want the short version or the long version?"

"Long version, please." Simmons answered.

"Ugh… fine! But it's gonna be in five minute intervals, just so you know." Grif said as their journey back to Sandtrap began. Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Wash and the Meta were talking about what they had just seen.

"Do you really think it was her?" Wash asked.

"Grrrr…" Meta growled out with a nod. "Grrrr…?"

"No, she didn't have an A.I. Her holograms didn't need them." Wash explained. "But to think… she really survived all these years after what Texas and Carolina did to her…"

"Grrrr…"

"No. The kill was definitely confirmed. I read the report." Wash then thought about it. "However… it did mention something about steam…"

"Grrrr…!"

"You're right. It doesn't matter. She's alive now and she's helping the Reds and the Blues with protecting Epsilon. That could be a problem but nothing we can't handle." Wash admitted. "Still, I can't believe you lost them."

"Grrrr…"

"I'm sorry, last time I checked you weren't beaten then blown up." Wash pointed out before sighing. "Don't worry, we'll find them again. We just need some leads. And I know exactly who to ask."

Meanwhile, at Blue Base, Doc tried to move again only to find out he was digging himself deeper into the concrete somehow. "Hey guys? A little help here. Hello? Assholes." Doc mumbled out as his head slumped forward.

Save Game… Quit!

Whew! Done! God, it's warm! Actually, I'm returning to school of February 5th so updates are gonna slow down (yeah, even _slower_ than currently) and that's not accounting for Monster Hunter World.

Oh dear God, my quest for creating every Greatsword in the game begins once again!

UknownHero signing off, my friends!


End file.
